The $49 audit · 24h delivery

The kind of read your web guy can't give you.

You give me your URL. Within 24 hours I send back a plain-English PDF on what's chasing customers off, ranked by what'll move the needle. The kind of read you'd get if you paid a senior consultant for four hours — compressed into something you can actually use Monday morning.

What lands in your inbox

• +5–8 specific moves, ranked across this week / this month / long term
• +2 real public competitors walked the same way, with where they have the edge
• +4 customer-type walkthroughs (skimmer, researcher, mobile-on-3G, returning)
• +Where things break — forms, trust signals, nav, slow pages, mobile
• +PDF you can read on your phone over coffee or hand to your web person
• +Same-day refund if the report misses 3 things you hadn't thought of

How I run it

1. 1You submit URL + a sentence about what's not working. 2 minutes. $49 paid on submit.
2. 2I walk your site end-to-end on phone and desktop, like a real customer would.
3. 330–50 AI checks, 4 customer walkthroughs, broken-stuff scan, 2 competitor walks, ranked synthesis.
4. 4PDF lands in 24 hours. If it misses 3 things, reply REFUND — same-day.

What you do with it

Read it Sunday night, Monday morning is clear. Or forward it to your web person — they get a punch list instead of “fix everything.” Or reply QUOTE and I quote shipping the fixes / building the automation behind them. Custom-priced, typically $500–$5,000.